My equilibrium was knocked yesterday, which led me to overeat later than usual, which led to me sleep worse.
I woke at 7.30 feeling quite rough this morning. Generally felt disconnected from the bliss and love and presence that had been more present. I will make sure that I tune into bliss tonight before sleeping, and that I will meditate earnestly tomorrow.
When I wake up feeling fresh the day goes good. Keeping energy levels good is everything. I really want to build the right momentum for the new year, and I really want to get certain projects in motion too, so it is imperative that I be careful to not fall into negative frequencies.
I really want to stay close to God.
I do this by going to sleep relatively early. By doing TWIM (metta meditation). By doing yoga. By eating mindfully. By eating my last meal relatively early so that my heart rate is slow enough at night to sleep deeply.
I find tuning deeply into God before bed is good, I fall asleep feeling better, and I often then wake up around 3 in the morning, when I find it easier to meditate, then I fall back to sleep and wake up feeling good.
I really need to automate these ways of living as if I was living in an ashram. I know that is ‘the way’. It is where I am being led. I must resist the urge to merge my way of living with those around me. Monkey see monkey do. Therefore it will be best once I have made an early bedtime completely habitual, because then I’ll be in a different sort of timeline. I will be awake and active when they are asleep. I will have that spacious silent sacred time in the morning to commune with God. I will get all the essentials done early before the default mode network kicks in.
The obstacles I must avoid are compulsive eating, and compulsive use of technology. These seem to be the biggest distruptors. I find it so much easier to use the computer with intention. I am forced to sit upright and that makes me alert. With the phone you can use it in any posture, in any part of the house, while doing any other activity. This is a recipe for disaster, because we gravitate towards higher stimulation, and it just becomes integrated into our lives so quickly. It completely disconnects me from God I find. If I could use the phone more intentionally that would be great, because it is so useful to use it as a notepad, as a camera, as a calender, for gudied meditations and music and audiobooks… etc. It can be great to have when going out. It is essential for banking and so forth, it’s just a curse when inside the house… so perhaps the solution is to not bring it to my room ever. Have that as a strong rule. Might be wise.
I’m not sure.
I really like being on the computer. It doesn’t feel like wasted time. It feels productive. It feels creative. I never get that impression with the phone. It so often feels like it’s a waste of time. Like it’s unintentional…
So… going forward I really want to wake up earlier, and wake up refreshed, so I must start going to bed earlier, and I must start avoiding big meals in the evening.
22:25
WOW – Jamie and I discussed Kanye West a bunch over text, found we had weirdly enough both been listening to Ghost Town a lot. Random. Then hours later it is announced Kanye West is playing live in Italy – the first time he is live in Europe since 2014!!!
So now on Monday we are gonna get tickets… This has given me new life. I feel really joyful. I will completely heal my body soon af! This year will be amazing.
Also, I just did S Kriya and it felt so good. I love meditation so much. I love God so much. I’m so grateful it is slowly saving me. I will deepend my dedication and devotion. I will go all the way. God-Life-TheUniverse … it wants to give me all I have ever desired. I will be totally healed, and I will be in a whole time new timeline, as my authentic self, and I will finally be creating art regularly. Life is going to be amazing.
Goodnight <3