22:37
I woke feeling a little better actually. Stupidly didn’t nap and rest when I felt I needed to. Then went out with J and E which was actually nice. Went reena. I only took two tokes yet it still got me very high. We discussed avatar briefly, music, housing crisis, tech, social media, etc… I pointed out how a big contributer to the death of connection and community is technology and the fact that it’s become so personalized and so entertaining. Before there simply wasn’t as much stimulation inside and we would get bored. We get so rewarded through social media, so much dopamine, that we don’t feel sufficient boredom to want to go out and spend time with one another. We listen to podcasts instead of talk to one another. It’s more comfortable. More easy. And it scratches the itch, even if artificially, for social connection. It’s a wild situation. Evan seemed to resonate and recognize this truth deeply.
I felt very rough after getting home. Weirdly enough I ended up starting that video project I’ve been avoiding. I’m opimistic about that. I can’t wait to be zeroed in and in flow and feeling myself progressing. To have work in diligently doing with all my time. To have a centre I can orbit. A craft I can hone. A temple I can build. I’m looking forward to that. Purpose. Play. Creative outlet. Expression. Art …. Creation & Evolution.
I feel pretty awful now physically, in the typical way but with another layer of shit. I think I’m coming down with a cold. My throats sore. I feel totally wrecked. I’m praying I am well enough tomorrow to work on the video a bit.
I decided it makes more sense to meditate and pray and manifest and journal on new years eve than to go out.
This is the cocoon phase. Have faith. Stay still. You’re cooking. Pending. Healing.