Dad had to go hospital. Breathing got bad. Very frustrating that he doesn’t have the ability to feed himself and maintain a decent sleep schedule. Takes no personal responsibility for it, just a victim of things outside his control in his mind, despite drinking caffeine late at night and making no effort to get sunlight in the morning. A lifetime of compulsiveness and resisting structure and schedules doesn’t seem to lead to a pleasant old age. He definitely has enough strengths to balance out the flaws. He’s a fundamentally good person. I’m sure Ive inherited a lot of good things without realising it.
Im honestly grateful for his weaknesses too because I definitely wouldn’t be so interested in yoga if I wasn’t motivated to attain self control as a result of observing him fart around aimlessly so much. I wish I had better health to go help him have a bit of structure and routine, but surely if I had good health I should be spending my 20s building a life for myself? It sometimes seems unethical to have a child as late as they did. If I have kids I hope to have them in my thirties. I hope my health gets good soon so I can get a bit of a life together so that’s even an option.
A&E was awful. Sucks all the energy out of you. The people that work there are angels.