22:43
Pain in my side. Annoying. Fear that a year straight of the kidney struggling will do long-term damage to it.
options? Dr sucks.
god? Yoga? Why the fuck aren’t I going all in. I’m curious. I want to go all in. In call of duty MW3 I used to be intrigued about glitching out the map. Well I wanna try that now. Let’s glitch out the map. We know how. We’ve read all the maps. We’ve read a bunch of autobiographies about people who used the maps to glitch out of the player area.
anything is possible out there. You have administrative access. Let’s go. Let’s do it. Let’s go into the quantum field. The source of all creation. Lets go. Determination is the driving force. Will is the fuel. All doors open to he who asks
Meditate like you did when crippling heartbreak was your first emotion each morning.
escape the default mode network each morning
escape the ego each morning
remember September? Remember it felt like a prison break each morning. You woke up and felt insane emotional pain and the automatic thoughts were awful so you did twim without stopping until you were totally behind the thoughts, till they were gone, and then you focused on love and healing and got excited about the future. Don’t ever stop that process. Even when the default mode network is livable. It’s still prison. It’s just more comfortable.
repeat that process each morning
what process? Escape the ego. Meditate. Don’t get out of bed until you are tuned into bliss through twim. Do S Kriya as act of love. Do twim walk. Live in a holy manner. Stay connected to the holy electricity.
When you get healthy and power stop being a knob. You’re like Bruce almighty as soon as you have freedom. That’s a major obstacle. Stop the ego from coming back online and ceasing the reigns when power is gained. Do this by remembering what made the Buddha abandon all worldly pleasures. Old age, sickness,death. Impermanence is coming for you and all. No power or attainments om the physical dimension have any value whatsoever. It is all empty. It’s a very short stay here. Very very very short. Can’t take anything with you. Remember that and remember the ego isn’t real and isn’t you.
Earlier I was meditating, around 7pm, and I thought of iron man 1 and remembered that spirit science video about the symbolism of iron man. How his energy thing in his chest was like the heart chakra, and how his being stuck in that dark cave was symbolic of the spiritual process. Then when I went downstairs to eat dinner, my niece said she was watching iron man 1!!! Wtf? I hadn’t seen that movie in maybe 10 years. I must’ve overheard it playing on the TV subconsciously, but I can’t help but feel it’s been in my head a couple days. I went in to the sitting room after and watched the second half with her. I took something away from it… A lesson. Never make anyone felt belittled. Make sure everyone feels loved and seen. Make sure everyone gets some of the spotlight. No mater where life takes you, don’t let it become all about you. People need love, and attention is love. Spread it evenly… The villain in iron man 1 is someone who felt he had built the company from the ground up and didn’t get any recognition or love for his efforts while Tony Stark got all the shine. It made him crazy and resentful and ultimately evil and toxic. Make everyone feel loved. Make them feel special. Everyone just wants to feel special and seen and appreciated. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves. Love people. Compliment them. It’s healing for all involved.
another thing I took from it is when you start following your heart, you will end up in a life where you’re less comfortable, and you’re getting beaten up sometimes, but it brings meaning and purpose, which are invaluable. Living for comfort and to gratify the ego and body leads nowhere good. Keep the reigns in the hands of the spirit.