I’m surprised I didnt have much symptoms today. Yesterday I got majorly fucked up driving. Overstimulated and in pain, then I binge ate in the evening which I rarely do. Expected to be fucked today but actually had a better day that unusual. I also listened to a bunch of music after getting up which would usually overstimulate me but instead it led to a really good morning meditation. I fasted till 2pm which Im going to keep doing I think. Fasting seems to really help.
Last night i got sorta manic in a way, but I cant decide if its mania or being alive. Social conditioning has forced us to be unnaturally timid I think. Anyway, the energy last night made me really face what I want out of life, and who I want to be, which I think got stuck energy moving.
I will keep doing tuning in. That one is important because it’s all about thinking about and feeling the future that you want.
I’m looking forward to the driving test being done tomorrow. I hope I pass it. I really shouldve prepared more but it is what it is.
My goals for the rest of this month is to deepen my practice. Do more Dispenza. Start hitting 10k steps per day. Tidy my room (drastically). Buy the guitar stand and a desk. I really want a standing desk and I really want my guitars more easily accessible. There is a genuine chance I could be here indefinitely. Who knows. Basically, I want to setup this room the way I would if I knew I was going to be here a long time. I dont know why I was procrastinating on that. The soonest I will leave is 7 months away, which is a long time.
Love. Life is good. Im excited about my future. Soon my room will be cool. It will be well setup and neat. I will have enough energy to create cool stuff. This spring will be blessed.