Today went better. I had less symptoms today. I slept a bit better. When I woke up I did more meditation than usual, and I did a good bit of TWIM. I realised I needed sleep and properly napped in the day. Listening to myself seems to be the key, but it’s more than that. It’s keeping the monkeys moral high. It’s staying focused on what matters. I dunno. It’s a whole host of things. I think waking earlier helps. Obviously part of it is just random too… like whether the stone is bouncing into my kidney wall or not.
Keeping the spirits high definitely matters though, and keeping vitality in the mind. Not allowing restlessness and compulsiveness to take over….
I need to stay focused though, because I keep letting the ball drop once the severity of the pain falls away and I have a little freedom back. I need to stay diligently focused on my goal. I need to not let that vision fall away. I need to keep doing Dispenza! It just works… I think from now on with the meditation vlogs I’m going to do them slightly differently. I’m going to use them to track how many Dispenza one’s im doing and how i feel before and after. I should write a few sentences after each meditation to describe what i feel.
That’s ultimately it. Not that I have the routine fairly firmly established in regards to the essentials thatll keep things going smooth, I should start focusing more on Dispenza, because those meditations really work. They seriously raise the energy. I need that intense life force flowing through me. I need the kundalini high. I need to stay focused. The mind drifts towards sleep so easily. Inertia. Fuck that. Fuckkkkk that. I like passion. I like intensity. I like drive. I like beautiful things. I want to honor myself by showing up.. by dissolving laziness and sluggishness and inertia. I want to move freely. I want to have free will. I want perfect health and perfect self control and perfect focus. I want to create cool and beautiful things. I want make a positive change in the world. I want to make cool art.