10:28
Last night was kinda rough. I prayed a lot. I seen how tangled up in atttachments I had gotten so quickly again. It’s so difficult to not let that happen. To stay in that free liberated state where desires don’t define you and you aren’t perpetually mind wandering fixated on the external. Staying internally oriented and allowing the external to unfold sort of automatically as a result of your inner alignment is the key. The quantum way, not matter to matter.
I’m going to do morning Joe Dispenza, Skriya, yoga, shower, and get sunlight now.
I will treat my sleep as sacred going forward. I really miss knowing I will fall asleep effortlessly at a decent time and waking up feeling refreshed at 8/9am.
21:51
Im super tired. I realised, probabyl from all the cookies, pizza, icecream, bread and honey, my old symtoms are back. Joint pain, shooting pain in the head, anxiety, brain fog, etc..
fuck that shit. I need to break the sugar pattern. I wanna become more disciplined with what I eat. I want to break it down to a science. I want to eat to live… I want my gut micrbiome to be good. I think I will start tracking everything I eat because what gets measured gets managed.
I think finishing eating ealrier woudl be good too. Sleep better then. Cool. Make that the focus for a little while. Optimising diet… automating diet. This is the main thing holding me back from going sneem too. Keep mentally saying ‘once im in the habit of meal prepping because i dont wanna go over there without food”
Ive fallen a little. At a lower freq. Tomorrow I will fast and pray in the morning. I will eat intentionally and I will eat my last meal early.