15:07
Last night I stayed up too late accidentally. Was tired and got stuck on it. This was a loss, but that’s okay, in a weird way it made me happy because I realised how long it had been since I made that mistake.
I woke up at 4.10am, not as tired as I anticipated. I stayed awake. Meditated. Remembered how nice the morning hours were and realised I had mentally asked my higherself to help me start waking up earlier again. I was super tired so napped from 11:30 to 13:30 which did the job.
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Lately my mind has been totally fixed on my relationship to material possessions, to plans and projects and goals, and to desires in general. I’m seeing with great clarity how my mind gets so tangled up in the external world. How I have perpetually lived in this dysfunctional way for so long where I feel like I have infinite time and energy to do it all, and don’t realise that time and energy is very limited, and you only have so much you can spend each day, and that the more things you have running at once, the more of your brains processing power is taken up, which can reduce its efficiency, and can lead to stress and overwhelm for the monkey.
Simplicity is key. Simplicity is everything. Minimalism is the way to live well. I want less. I want only what matters. I want to stop desiring what I don’t have. I want to get rid of a bunch of the things I do have. I want to say no to potential hobbies or plans or projects that arise in my mind. I want to just stay committed and faithful with what matters most. I want to be diligent about assessing what matters most. What truly matters.
There is sooooo much bullshit in this life. So many distractions. It is so important to learn to ignore and reject them because the truth is we have such a finite amount of time, attention, and energy. We need to spend them wisely, and every time we reject something we keep that potential to spend on something else. Or to spend on nothing. Nothing is awesome. We evolved in nature with so little stimuli. Our monkey is happiest when we keep it simple… and what the fuck matters more than our monkeys feeling safe/ peaceful/ joyful. Nothing at all.