13:03
DUDE! Life is happening.
It really helps to take a cold shower before meditating. I will try make it autopilot to take a cold shower every morning before SKriya, yoga, and Dispenza.
I feel electric. I did hatha yoga too which was really nice.
When I went downstairs I made a big pot of lentils and I found out Mom was more sick. Went to her chest so needs antibiotics. I also found out my aunty has a cancerous growth on her skin, and she’s been waiting to see a specialist for months (despite the GP confirming it was cancerous). My half-siblings mom is in hospital currently with pneumonia and gallstones. She has been on the waiting list for ages to remove the gallstones. The wait time in 2 years apparently. Awful.
Hearing all this while in the elevated state from meditation has me more clear on what I must do than ever. I need to complete the process on myself and then start serving humanity by teaching the process, and holding the space for people to carry out the process.
At a practical level this will involve me doing the meditations more, and completing all the information, all the theory, and memorizing it. I will make a habit of writing up about it too. This will be key. I need to know it all inside and out and I need to be completely healed from it so I am fit to teach this. I will remain present and open hearted and will continually surrender to God and remain detached from the outcome.
Yes. I must stop getting sidetracked. The logical things to do when I’m not meditating is to do yoga or study the theory directly relevant to the process.
21:15
I’m not too sure what to do with myself. I feel outside of time.
Very present. Not sure what to do exactly. There is a sadness in me at the moment. That is underlying. Sadness. This is why my meditations have been subpar. This is why I dont feel that loving bliss so much. I feel heartbreak. I miss my ex greatly. It hurts quite a bit.
I just want answers. I just want whatever my higher self wants for me. I want to heal and transcend. I want to achieve everything I’ve ever said I would. I want answers. I want to know who I am and what I am meant to be doing here. I want higher consciousness. I want freedom. I want help. I want guidance. I want to be aligned. I want to feel as if everything is unfolding in the way it should. I want to feel like I’m in the light. Being of help to others. I don’t want to be suffering in the dark. I have been given so much guidance. I want to follow it more devoutly…
In 2019 I felt so lost and I went all in with meditation, body scanned until I was totally above thought, and then an entity came into the room and told me to come into the astral. Why the hell haven’t I done that yet? It’s been almost six years. I’m going to learn how to leave my body now. I want to be able to commune directly with higher beings so I can have some guidance and I won’t get stuck any more. I want limitations gone. I want truth. I want to know who I am on a deep level and I want my health issues to be resolved and I want to help people heal themselves.
21:44
Yes. I’m certain. I will learn to leave my body.