21:46
This morning when I woke up my heart hurt. Related to breakup. It felt sore. I felt scared. I sat down crosslegged and just tuned into the feeling in my heart. I felt my heart open as I conjured feelings of faith and love. I then quickly entered a deep state of presence. Effortless stillness. Total silence of the mind. In this state I felt more myself than usual. I felt connected to myself. I felt connected to truth. The words authenticity and sincerity kept arising. It felt very sincere. Like I was truly being with myself.
I realised that you can do lots of meditations, going through the motions, controlling attention to alter consciousness, but that it is so much more effective to do it with an open heart.
After this I did my morning meditations and they went really well. In one of them, the guided morning one by Joe Dispenza, he said “and if you made contact with a higher intelligence, ask that it send you a sign”.
I then spent the day thinking about my heart and why it closes so much. Why it is closed by default. In the evening I was watching an episode of the chosen, and Jesus says this exactly. How one must have the heart open. How you must pray with heart & mind (45min into ep8ofS1). I had chills when he said it and instantly remembered that I had asked for a synchronicity. Going forward I’m going to try keep my heart open.