21:59
Woke at 4am. Felt awful. Woke at 10 still felt fairly bad. Did skriya and morning dispenza mediation. Still meh. Did botec in car, then anxiety and stuff gone, light bliss. Enjoyed being with brother. Car ride back i did botec again. Quite trippy. Then had a cold shower when home and did skriya and got to great bliss state. Will meditate now a bit more and hopefully get a really good blissful nights sleep.
I really want to heal. I want my heart to be open always. I want to be totally free from unnecessary suffering. I want to be free from mindwandering. I want to be permanently blissful and loving. Osho is cool I should keep reading him. Keeping the body blissful is keeping the body in a state where it feels safe and cared for… it is like parenting the body. Being a good parent for yourself. Keeping to a routine that is good for sleep and stuff. Getting into bed before im super tired is really good for my mental health because I can actually enjoy reading then, adn then I fall asleep blissful and happy.