ouch

12:14

last night was brutal. I feel so stupid. There is something struggling to heal in me, and whenever it starts healign I start exercising and open the wound again. Moron! Stay awake. Don’t forget the situation you are in. Be gentle with yourself. Stop falling into that frequency where you want to force your way into a better a life. a healthier body. Etc…stay like a sadhu. A monk. Stop falling into tjhe endorphins + music high chasing frequency. Stay focused. You are building something invaluable.

When I fell back into the pain last night, I realised I had strayed from the sane & wise path. I want to go in the right direction, so in a way I’m grateful for the severe and painful intervention, but at the same time I dont want to suffer. I want to stay on the path without the painful reminders forcing my mind back to God and truth and what matters.

Slow paced state of mind. That is where it’s at. Read. Write. Meditate. Be outside. Meditate. Etc. Stop falling into internet, music, and exercise cycles.