13:46
I realised I have been getting distracted and sidetracked by enlightenment. I’m reading Jed McKenna and the Avadhuta Gita… Like why?! I’m 24 and I’m sick. I can attain enlightenment when I’m older. I think I’m avoiding healing my ego by trying to transcend it or disassociate from it. I’m not actually facing life, I’m not doing the work. I’m so sneaky. I find so many ways to avoid life. To avoid myself. I want to be fully alive. I dont want to hide anymore. I want surrender to life and keep my heart open.