16.53
I’m so tired so I’m going to use voice to type for this. Last night I couldn’t sleep for ages. I was up so late and I felt like s*** from all the bad food that I ate and then today when I woke up I felt exhausted and then I immediately hid in podcasts and listened to them all day and kind of ate compulsively as well. So now I’m just really feeling like s*** and I’m so tired and I didn’t nap. So now I don’t know. Do I nap now or just try and cling on until it’s late enough to fall asleep. But this is definitely been a lesson. I have come to the conclusion that not having those rigid structures is just awful for me and there is just a gradual degeneration down into more compulsive and pleasure seeking ways. I don’t want to live in this automatic compulsive way. I have so many beautiful things that I need to achieve with this life and I won’t be able to do it if I’m living on autopilot like this. I need to re-establish discipline and structure in order so that I can move forward towards the meaningful goals that I have. Life is too beautiful to be stuck like this. I have put my SIM card into the Nokia phone. I’m going to have a couple days with little to no tech. I really need to do a dopamine detox and re-establish my daily habits