today is 420. Met with Jh and Er for a bit. Went home. Later I went out and met At.
went for a walk with dad too. Reenagross. Wish he wasn’t so old. Feel like he’s been slowly dying for half my life at this point. It’s tiring. Especially since he lives closest to me, and seems to lean on me the most for company. I’m sure I can get some spiritual value out of it but sometimes I just wish I was able to be a bit more young and free. His other kids are more settled with kids and all. Would be way more natural for him to see them most, not me most. In tribal/indegnous situations the elders hang out with the kids, not the teenagers or people in early twenties… but he’s a bit autistic I think and seems to think he’s still in his. twenties so doesn’t see it that way. Tiring. It’s all good.
Weed is therapeutic. It makes my brain slow down. It makes me thing way less. It feels like the blinders that they put on horses. My awareness is limited to whats happening around me now. It feels more healthy than being perpetually stressed by seeing everything everywhere all at once.
I might experiment with it. See if it helps.