uhhh…. hmmmm…. 21:11
super tired today. napped but still tired. Yesterday and day before were chaotic tbf. I still managed to write and record 2 hooks today. Well one and a half. Im really happy with them though. I also had a lot of fun freestyling over beats. I also made a beat with the midi keyboard and guitar which doesnt sound bad at all. I really need to find that really nice ableton project and try replicate it.
Was meant to meet IOC but it fell through. Kinda thankful cause my side was swelling plus tired. Will meet him tomorrow hopefully after a better sleep
I feel like i have my teeth firmly dug into the music thing and wont let go. No matters what happens. Going to keep going until all the things i fear about it dissolve and I am just in the habit of writing and recording songs. That is what I have wanted for such a long time. I am also learning the guitar and keys slowly alongside it so then one day I can make my own instrumentals and actually use them. Currently I can make instrumentals but I dont like them so i typically just use a youtube producers instead.
I do want to get better at production
I can only do so much though… I do really need to spend more time learning and practicing Dispenza and doing those others courses that will allow me to start teaching breathwork and other things. Seeing all the people over the past couple days made me really realise how much this town needs that. I will go all in with it! I will. I want to fucking do that and have it in motion. Its something I have already invested major time into. Im already qualified to help in that way. I would feel better about the world suffering situation if I was actually sharing the tools that I found really helped me personally. I feel those are the two things constantly as my priorities. Meditation and music. I want to create music. I want to continue to heal myself with meditation. I want to share both with others. I’m only 24. I’m not late at all. I’m ahead of schedule. Breathe. You’ve done great kiddo. We’re almost there. The fruits your labour will bring relief to tired souls. Your pain wasn’t for nothing.
Is it weird to talk to myself like that? idk. i dont care. this is my diary. what are you doing reading my diary anyway, ya weirdo. I didnt even mark this entry as interesting. Why do i post these publicly. I’m not sure. Maybe egotistically I feel one day I will achieve some sort of greatness and it will be cool for there to be this daily record. Maybe even helpful. Maybe it just feels good to throw something up on the internet everyday, even if you dont expect anyone to read it.
Idk. Im going to get a great night sleep now, In the morning I will do sadhana. I will make some music. Have some fun with it. try get a verse of chorus written. Ideally a whole song. That would be cool. And i just do that everyyyy day for the rest of my life, I will get better at finishing songs. I will eventually feel comfortable uploading them. That’ll be cool too,