(small text boring, bigger text interesting)
22:19
So, I didn’t sleep too great last night. Overate after traveling. Ate lots of crisps and bars and pizza and stuff in Alghero. The sun and movement felt great for health though.
Today I woke, and then showered listening to music, which got dopamine going nice, then I had a great session freestyling over type beats which was heaps of fun. To not be self-conscious of neighbour hearing, I moved into the hall with the speaker and closed the bedroom doors. I also exercised a lot. Pushups, pullups, squats, dumbell curls, and overhead dumbell press. The endorphins combined with the freestyling was amazing. I then enjoyed playing some guitar. I then had to go to town, and listneed to music there and back, which mightve been a bit much after the highly stimulating couple hours at home. When I returned, I ate perhaps too much, and then crashed. It took quite a bit to drift off, felt a tad overstimulated, in that way where you find discomfort from silence, so had to lie in bed and listen to a couple podcasts (billie eilish on conan, and the friendskeepsecrets ep on fear) but then I napped for a couple hours. I woke up feeling bleh. Rested watching YT in bed, really like that setup now with the speakers&monitor. Ate dinner, and that felt better. Joked and chatted with mam. I smoked outside, then we watched This is a gardening show on netflix. Super funny and chill. Soundtrack uses Mac Demarco songs. I then showered listening to Guitar by mac demcaro. Blissful. Now I’m writing this.
While I was just showering I had lots of insights into life and death and how I should proceed forward with life. I could see the art of living. Stress and relaxation. I could see how effortless and nice life could be. I could see how simple things are. How simple they can be. How the intensity of the mind, and the insanity of it’s constant dissatisfaction and resistance, are the source of 99% of our suffering. Life can be easy going. It can be pleasurable. Blissful. That’s the word. Blissful. It can and it should be. Things should flow. Things can flow. Just be. Relax. Cannabis can be a beautiful thing. I love it and I wish I didn’t remove it for so long from my life. I remembered a quote earlier and it resonated in me deeper than it ever has.
“The difference between poison and medicine is the dose”
(Sola dosis facit venenum)
– Paracelsus
(I posted the below on my blog, titled Using Cannbis Wisely)
Cannabis now days is altered to have high THC and low CBD. THC is a psychotic. It is a ‘psychotomimetic’, meaning it can mimic features of psychosis. CBD is an anti-psychotic, it is recognized for its antipsychotic properties. It is thought to act as a safety buffer for the anxiety and paranoia that THC induces. It balances it out. I stopped enjoying cannabis for a long time, as my system became more sensitive through meditation, and I was launched into an intense psychedelic experience every time I smoked. I then quit it for quite some time. Recently I having using it again, and enjoying it more than ever, getting more benefits than ever, and I think it’s because I consume CBD with. When I roll a joint, I put 95% CBD bud (weed which has almost no THC), and then just a little sprinkle of THC cannabis bud. This creates a really nice relaxing effect. I find it still enhances creativity and gives me feelings of bliss and joy, but it doesn’t feel intense, and it doesn’t cause me to stay up late, to get too intense, to feel anxious, or to feel foggy & groggy the morning after. I find it really medicinal and doesn’t make me sloppy or lazy or confused. When I got into the whole self-improvement thing I demonized cannabis for being a crutch, something that made you lazy and complacent, which it can at times be. I also developed resistance to cannabis because when I got deeply into yoga, and was identifying attachments and addictions, I cut out everything that I felt any sort of dependence to. Tobacco, sugar, caffeine, cannabis, social media. I now see there is a place for cannabis in my life, and that we evolved alongside the plants on earth. Sure, the ascended masters of yoga, like Neem Karoli Baba, don’t need magic mushrooms or cannabis at all, to be healthy mentally, to be blissed out and well, but they’re totally aware. At union with the ALL. Careful not to throw away the tools before you’ve stopped needing them! Just because you might be getting negative effects from cannabis, doesn’t mean it’s innately bad. You may be using it wrong. You probably are. Consider adding CBD, and experiment with dosing, because as the homie Paracelsus said, the difference between poison and medicine is the dose.