22:16
today started really good. I woke with only 5 houts of poor quality sleep thanks to overeating the night befiore, but I did twim, meditated, went for walk and did twim, did skriya. skriya went amazing. was super calm and detached. no mental reactivity or emotional reactivity. zen. tidied room. read. all good. couldn’t nap. shouldve just got in bed. nap is the make or break for the evening. need to get that down. did enjoy yoga with MZ. Hard work yoga, but I like it. I never feel bored, it is consistently challenging in a way that makes the time fly by. It is a challenge physically, and in terms of balance too. I feel like my body is getting stronger doing it. would honestly do it twice per week if that was an option. should try make a ritual of doing it at home even once per week. Maybe thursday.
apple cake didnt taste too healthy. I want to meditate and pray and fast tomorrow. I want to surrender deeply. I dont fully like where I have been. I want to feel … free. Free from desire and compulsiveness. Also fuck sake I want perfect health. I can have it nad i want it, it is mine and i want it now. I want it instantly. No more bullshitting. Do dispenza tomorrow. Be a committed and determined yogi again. Clock in the hours daily. Surrender surrender surrender twim twim twim nothing else matters