I want to be back in that state. I thought I would never leave it. My cognition is dampened. My awareness is lower. I’m slipping a tad. I need to be a little more strict with myself. I want grace. I want the sensation of moving towards my desired future. I want that. I want to be free from all attachments. I want to feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. I want to feel totally competent. That I can rely on myself. That I know I will keep my own promises.
…
Met GH. Wish she was doing better. So many young people are struggling. I wish I could just make everything better for everyone. It is frustrating knowing that everything could be made so much better so fast, but that people 1. don’t know how. 2. are addicted to the familiar. 3. are too lazy to do the work. 4. are afraid of the unknown.
I wish they could all heal. I need to keep focusing on me so I become someone competent and capable of helping.