text to CT:
You gotta be careful not to get high off of the emotion that happens when you feel awe, because you don’t wanna neglect lower reality essentials like socialising, exercising, etc. You can sorta get addicted to the awe and excitement you feel when going deeper down rabbit holes about the nature of reality and self and life and death It can become another amusement park ride disguised as the exit Another trap is feeling isolated from everyone because you’ve seen certain things you can’t articulate or show people easily. So you have to live with a whole bunch of information that others don’t share which creates a sensation of separateness. Sometimes this leads to God because you just want to not be alone. You want to feel the presence of someone that sees what you see. Every little thing. That’s what God is. Someone that has a perfect view of your view. Not at all distorted/altered by individual filters. There are lots of ways that lead to encounters with that experience that is called God by many. Sometimes I experience it when I’ve made a serious of mistakes that leads me to feeling extra lost, extra afraid, extra grief stricken. Then I sort of just lie there, and the best word for what happens is surrender. Just a total letting go of the reigns. “I can’t do this. I’m a dumbass. Please help me. Please guide me. Please come into my life. I will stay humble so there’s enough room for you to have presence in my life, and I will listen to your silent voice. I will settle the money. I won’t let restlessness and compulsiveness dictate my day. I will break the horse so it goes where I want it to go. Many are stuck with the body having a mind of its own and just lie and tell themselves they are acting out of their own freewill but are actually just stuck doing stuff each day based on their conditioning, and conditioning is from the past, so their today’s are partially echoes of yesterdays, and this is what Hinduism calls karma. It is patterns. Actions that create residue. Actions that create echoes. Yoga is alignment. Yoga is living in a way where you have a higher level of intentionality and free will so you are able to act with true intentionality. You are no longer pinnochio. You are a real boy. The strings are cut. You act from your own will. Your own volition. Most don’t see this as the pursuit because they call their bondage their freedom, and often view the methods of liberation as bondage. The choice to continue in their repetitive predictable ways, their vices, this they see as freedom. Meditation, disciplines, renunciations, these are all viewed as restrictions on their free will. They view it this way because they are identifying with the body. The yogi sees his body as a vehicle that the soul is piloting. Therefore the vehicle should not have a mind of its own. It’s like a horse that hasn’t been broken. The horse must be broken. The body must listen to the soul. Stillness and fullness should be the default. Actions should arise out of total fulfillment and wholeness. Instead people act out of dis-ease, hungers, desires, boredom, irritability. They hope interacting with the physical world will achieve an equilibrium within them. Because they have dependencies on certain forms (sugar, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, cannabis, tech) they do technically bounce between itch itchy and itch scratched. Imbalance and balance. But it’s unstable and constantly fluctuating and demands that you continually engage with and consume different forms. When becoming a daily consumer of certain things you are signing up to have to have that every day to be at home stasis. Therefore you’re signed up to fire those circuits daily. To go around those orbits daily. The movement puts you in a sort of trance. This altered state of consciousness becomes your every day so you quickly assume it to be default consciousness or reality and forget how much it is altering default reality. Done across years and decades this altered state alters your personality so you identify who you are with those vices or behaviour patterns and then it becomes even harder to quit them because who are you is connected to how you feel with them in your life. The question becomes, do we just need to have these vices or patterns that we go up and down, that regulate and dystegulate our bodyminds equilibrium. Is it better to not be stuck in circuits. Is there a way to exist where we have a higher level of free will and awareness. Is there a way to exist where the conditioning of our bodies don’t pilot the ship that is the bodymind system. That bizarre vehicle were all driving. That instrument we’re playing. Is there a way to use it that is more sane than how we are conditioned to by the current civilization/cultures we are born into… I personally feel the software we got was awful and there’s really good software hidden in religions and schools of mysticism. I think it’s mentioned in poetry and music and philosophy. I think it all points to love and presence. To surrendering.